MY Happiness Project: Month 2 Wrap-up Report

I can’t believe that another month has come and gone…but here I am writing my wrap-up to month two of MY Happiness Project.

All in all I think I was pretty successful in achieving my goals! Unlike month one, there were no tangible ways to really measure my success (which sometimes made me feel a little less motivated) but at the end of the day I think I made great strides in trying to be a better partner to Miguel!

And vice versa actually! Seeing my efforts made Miguel feel like he needed to step up similarly and I think it sort of shook us out of our comfort zone.

So how did I really measure up with my month two goals? See for yourself below!

1. Quit nagging – I did find myself prodding Miguel at times to work on certain projects, but more often than not I bit my tongue and he actually started to do more on his own because I wasn’t bugging him. It actually made me remember how as a child I would become less motivated to do something when my mom would nag me…hmm, can you say epiphany!?
   


2. Be nicer – Miguel actually acknowledged that I had been doing better with this one, which made me feel really good because it’s been an issue that has come up a few times over the years. Of course, I may have gotten a bit more sarcastic at work to compensate (oops!) but I have definitely become more aware of my actions when we're out with friends.
   


3. Offer small gestures – I was better about this one in the beginning of the month, but I think I’m a lot more aware of how necessary the small gestures are and I’m going to continue to work on making this more of a habit.
   


4. Cook more often – this is another one that I was better about earlier in the month but my schedule is really to blame! Getting home so late at night doesn’t bode well for making dinner and we don’t often eat in on the weekends, but I’m going to try and do better about offering to cook when the opportunity arises so Miguel doesn’t feel like it’s his sole responsibility.
   


5. Don’t sweat the small stuff – I think I’ve done pretty great with this one! While I haven’t been able to fully adopt Miguel’s laidback personality, I have been careful not to burden him with my venting as soon as I walk in the door. It allows us to have more positive time together and leaves room for having conversations about things that really matter, rather than focusing all of our energy on the negatives on the day.

MY Happiness Project: Month 2 - Status Report

Ironically, Miguel and I have spent less time together during this month than usual.

Do you think that’s why I’ve been so successful with my goals of being nicer and whatnot?? Perhaps, but I’d like to think I’d be doing just as well if we were around each other 24/7…so lets not over think it okay?!

But while our schedules often conflicted this past week especially, we did find time to have dinner out with friends on Saturday – during which I was on my bestest behavior – and then set aside Sunday for a much needed family day, spent relaxing at home with the fuzzy monstahs.

But while I wished we could have spent more of the week together, I know that it’s good for us to have our own space and activities…especially when his are related to growing his company. The time away sometimes makes him feel guilty though so I’ve worked on staying completely supportive so that he feels less stressed by the sacrifice.

In the past I wasn’t always as conscientious about his feelings on the matter and often would make nagging comments that would stress him out. But, in part because of month two’s goals, I have been doing my best to be a very supportive partner because I know this is what he needs to be doing and sometimes a little sacrifice now will bring greater rewards later…and more time for us to hang out together!

MY Happiness Project: Month 2 - Status Report

The second week of month two has come and gone and I’m still making good progress! While my feeling ‘under the weather’ for the past few days caused me (at times) to be a little grouchy, I tried hard otherwise to be on my bestest behavior and to be a more caring and loving partner.

I refrained from my usual teasing when we went out with friends on Friday and avoided picking on him when we spent Saturday with his family at his cousin’s wedding.

I also continued my trend of Doing rather than Nagging. As a perfect example, tonight I took it upon myself to take care of all the trash, recycling and cleaning in anticipation of hosting friends this weekend. I had kept waiting to do those things because I wanted Miguel’s help with the chores but then realized that I would be happier if it was just done rather than continuing to put it off until I could ask for help. And I am!

And so is Miguel…even if he doesn’t completely know why, ha! He even thanked me during the week for all that I had been doing for him lately and I could tell how much it really meant to him. And it’s all because of how much he means to me!

MY Happiness Project: Month 2 - Status Report

The first week of month two went by really quickly! And even though Miguel spent a long weekend with his parents, I still found plenty of opportunities to work on my goals…and I think I’m off to a great start!

The best part about doing MY Happiness Project is that I’m always aware of the goals I’ve created, which helps encourage and motivate me to actually accomplish them!

1. Quit nagging – even though my nagging is almost reflexive at this point, I’ve been doing pretty good with this one! I’ve started to just DO things (dishes, picking up the living room, cleaning the litter box) rather than asking Miguel to do them and then nagging when they haven’t been done quick enough, because I’ve realized that having them done is more important to me.


2. Be nicer – we spent the weekend apart because of Mother’s Day so I didn’t have an opportunity to practice my new etiquette in front of our friends but I am consciously teasing less these days…which is a good start!


3. Offer small gestures – this was one of the more tangible goals I had made so it was easier to see my accomplishments over this past week; like surprising him with clean laundry when he got home from traveling and cleaning underneath his sink when I realized it was in desperate need of organization!


4. Cook more often – this week we’ve relied on takeout for most of our dinners, but I did step up and make most of my lunches this week, which I could tell was a pleasant surprise for Miguel!


5. Don’t sweat the small stuff – I also did great with this goal by purposefully not dumping my frustrations about this week’s terrible commutes on Miguel as soon as I walked in the door at night. And it has actually helped improve my mood when I get home because I don’t walk in ready to vent!

MY Happiness Project: Month 2

Gretchen Rubin’s second chapter in “The Happiness Project” is all about love and honoring the relationship you are in (and your partner) because “a good [relationship] is one of the factors most strongly associated with happiness.”

While I completely agree with that assessment, I didn't initially think that the second month would prove much of a challenge because the relationship that my boyfriend Miguel and I have is pretty wonderful already.

You see, I have been with Miguel for almost fourteen years. Yes, you heard me right…fourteen years. Some people like to call us high school sweethearts but we actually didn’t officially start dating until immediately after graduating from high school, though our first date was to our senior prom – I asked him!

Don’t get me wrong though; there have been plenty of bumps in the road – especially during the four years I was away at college and the first few after I moved back home to figure out what I was going to do with my life – but through all of the experiences that we have gone through on our own and together, we’ve somehow grown into adults with similar goals and dreams.

But while we have great communication and support one another at every turn, I started to realize the more I read that no relationship is perfect and working on the smaller things (i.e. nagging first and foremost) could have a big impact on us both!

So with all that in mind, I’ve compiled the following five ways that I’m going to work on being a better partner over the next month:

1. Quit nagging – on occasion I need to learn to bite my tongue and let Miguel get things done at his pace…not mine


2. Be nicer – sometimes my sarcastic teasing can hurt his feelings, especially when I tease in front of our friends, so I’m going to try to be more cognizant of what I’m saying…before I say it


3. Offer small gestures – Miguel is wonderful about stopping to get dinner for us after a long drive or going out on a whim to get me something that I need and I want to be better about returning the favor


4. Cook more often – since Miguel works from home and likes to cook, he has naturally become the official cook of the house – even making me lunch in the morning (sorry ladies, he is off the market) – but I need to step up and pitch in more often


5. Don’t sweat the small stuff – Miguel has the most wonderful, laidback personality and doesn’t let the stresses in life stress him out...and I want to exemplify that more often by adopting a similar attitude rather than always burdening him with my anxiety when I get overwhelmed by life

After coming up with my goals for the month, I can’t wait to get started! Bringing more balance and even more happiness to our relationship is going to be reward enough but I think I’m going to enjoy doing more for Miguel and really showing him how much he means to me.

Do you have any other ideas for honoring your partner and relationship? What would your list look like??




P.S. Even before finishing this post, I did my first small gesture by getting off the couch (hard at this time of night) and getting something for him out of the bedroom when he mentioned he needed it. It made me feel good to do that for him because I know that he would normally offer to do the same for me and I'm usually too lazy to return the favor...evidenced by the fact that he looked surprise when I offered to go for him!

MY Happiness Project: Month 1 Wrap-up Report

Yesterday marked the end of month one of MY Happiness Project…and the day that I finally made my trip to the DMV. What can I say; procrastination still rears its ugly head now and again – ha!

And while I only had to wait five minutes to have my number called, my seemingly simple request to have my registration refunded eventually had to be escalated to the managerial level! It turns out that my call to the DMV months earlier had done more harm than good because the customer representative had been sadly misinformed and subsequently messed up my account…awesome.

But all was not lost and within forty minutes I walked out with a receipt in hand and a relieved smile on my face. I could finally say that I had tackled my nagging task and it felt wonderful!!

How did I do with the rest of my month one goals? See for yourself below!

1. Get more (consistent) sleep – This was the one and only goal that I was not very successful with…and am currently paying for with drooping eyelids!


2. Get more exercise – I did incredible with this one, if I may say so myself! I was at the gym 2-3 times each week and finished off the month with sessions of climbing, cardio and yoga. And the consistent workouts have really paid off...just check out the guns!


3. Clear the visual clutter – This is where my aptitude towards OCD came in handy because once I started organizing, I couldn’t stop! In fact, tonight I finished all of my outstanding filing and filled one large bag with lots of old bills to shred come Monday morning…yes!


4. Clear the mental clutter – I am happy to report that my inbox has dwindled down to a manageable four pages of emails! But in addition to getting rid of TWELVE pages of emails, my biggest accomplishment is that I’ve stayed on top of regularly checking my email in order to keep the clutter at bay!


5. Tackle one nagging task – DONE after a 'quick' trip to the DMV yesterday to finalize the sale of my car from the end of November!

MY Happiness Project: Month 1 - Status Report

Three weeks into the first month of MY Happiness Project and I’m around the 75% mark!

1. Get more (consistent) sleep – Um, I’m still struggling with this one even though I desperately want more sleep…sigh


2. Get more exercise – Still on a roll! I have done cardio and my weekly yoga classes routinely the past two weeks and I’m feeling good!


3. Clear the visual clutter – Doing great! I still have a few miscellaneous items that need to find a home and I’d love to get things back in order in the office…it’s gotten a touch out of control AGAIN!


4. Clear the mental clutter – A big YES! I’ve gotten through another two pages of email in my inbox and have been checking new messages regularly, which is a huge improvement!


5. Tackle one nagging task – I made huge headway with this project last week and the only thing left is a trip to the DMV…wish me luck!

Living Room Reveal: Before & After

Collecting art is definitely a weakness for me and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I love bringing art home from my trips or creating my own to display.

But there is one downside and that is that I’ve started to run out of wall space in my apartment!

Then it recently dawned on me that creating a “gallery” wall in the living room would solve that problem and give me a way to spice up the most lackluster room in the apartment!

So after a few weeks of planning and prepping, the revamp of the living room is finally complete. I love how the gallery wall looks and how much it changes the feel of the entire place!

“Before” – the TV wall feels a bit empty

“Before” – the sofa seems to be floating in front of the big, white wall

“After” – the art, rather than the TV, becomes the focus and coincidentally compliments the colors of the newly styled bookcase

“After” – the gallery wall of art ties all of the furniture together

I love the mix of art medias – from tile to silkscreen, etchings, photos and posters

Rhino Robbie helped fill in a small gap of white wall

The Fiery Furnaces raccoon print was taken from the book “Gig Posters”

MY Happiness Project: Month 1 - Status Report

One week into MY Happiness Project and I’m three for five on my goals for the first month. That equates to a 60%...which isn’t great if you’re in school but pretty good for my first week!

1. Get more (consistent) sleep – Um, not quite…my bedtime has actually been more erratic than usual


2. Get more exercise – My biggest success! I hit the gym three times this week (cardio 1, yoga 2)


3. Clear the visual clutter – On a roll! I already finished my biggest redecorating project but there’s a few more to go


4. Clear the mental clutter – A big YES! I’ve cleared out almost TEN pages of email in my inbox, only six more to go


5. Tackle one nagging task – Um, not quite…I’ve continued to procrastinate on even starting this one, blurg

MY Happiness Project: Month 1

Gretchen Rubin’s first chapter in “The Happiness Project” is all about boosting energy because she found in her research that “being happy energizes you, and at the same time, having more energy makes it easier for you to engage in activities – like socializing and exercise – that boost happiness.”

She tackles “both the physical and mental aspects of energy” by making sure to get more sleep and exercise AND to bring a sense of outer order to her surroundings in order to bring inner peace.

Okay, if I didn’t already have a twin I would seriously consider the fact that we were separated at birth! I absolutely agree with her assessment and the fact that the mental aspect of energy is just as important as the physical.

In fact, I’ve recently come to grips with the fact that I need more sleep now than when I was in my 20’s and that it is finally time to break my bad sleeping habits. I’m definitely less focused at work when I have those super sleepy days and less inclined to do anything productive (like exercise or work) when I get home.

I also have recently started to redecorate my home and streamline the tchotchkes and visual clutter in order to find some inner Zen. I still love stuff and could never become a minimalist, but I’m starting to enjoy the negative space too. And another bonus is that when the apartment feels clean and organized I feel like I can tackle any project…which is definitely necessary these days!

So with all that in mind, I’ve compiled the following five ways that I’m going to boost my energy over the next month:

1. Get more (consistent) sleep by going to bed regularly at an earlier time
2. Get more exercise by working out 2-3 times each week
3. Clear the visual clutter by redecorating and donating all the excess to Salvation Army or Goodwill
4. Clear the mental clutter by finally clearing out the 16 (yes SIXTEEN) pages of new and old emails in my hotmail account and staying on top of them by checking email regularly and unsubscribing from all the spam
5. Last but not least, I’m borrowing another idea from Gretchen and am going to tackle at least one nagging task - which will be to finalize the selling of my car with the DMV and County (yes I have put that off for over three months, sigh)

I can’t wait to get started!

Do you have any other ideas for boosting energy? What would your list look like??

An Introduction to MY Happiness Project

I came across Gretchen Rubin’s book, “The Happiness Project”, while shopping in Anthropologie last year.

The title and colorful cover caught my eye but I decided to buy the book on the spot after reading the introduction:

“One April day, on a morning just like every other morning, I had a sudden realization: I was in danger of wasting my life. As I stared out the rain-spattered window of a city bus, I saw that the years were slipping by. ‘What do I want from life, anyway?’ I asked myself. ‘Well…I want to be happy.’ But I had never thought about what made me happy or how I might be happier.”

I was stunned to find that Gretchen (a successful writer, mother and wife) had the same worries and concerns that I did and every page I read had me nodding my head in agreement! The biggest difference between us though was her ability to so eloquently articulate all the thoughts that I’d never been able to find the words to express:

“It was time to expect more of myself. Yet as I thought about happiness, I kept running up against paradoxes. I wanted to change myself but accept myself. I wanted to take myself less seriously – and also more seriously. I wanted to use my time well, but I also wanted to wander, to play, to read at whim. I wanted to think about myself so I could forget myself. I was always on the edge of agitation; I wanted to let go of envy and anxiety about the future, yet keep my energy and ambition. Elizabeth’s observation made me wonder about my motivations. Was I searching for spiritual growth and a life more dedicated to transcendent principles – or was my happiness project just an attempt to extend my driven, perfectionist ways to every aspect of my life?”

I couldn’t have said it better myself!

And while I recognize how extremely blessed and fortunate I am by all the good in my life, I am excited by this opportunity to continue my personal growth and self-discovery.

Care to join me??