Thursday, May 5, 2011

MY Happiness Project: Month 2

Gretchen Rubin’s second chapter in “The Happiness Project” is all about love and honoring the relationship you are in (and your partner) because “a good [relationship] is one of the factors most strongly associated with happiness.”

While I completely agree with that assessment, I didn't initially think that the second month would prove much of a challenge because the relationship that my boyfriend Miguel and I have is pretty wonderful already.

You see, I have been with Miguel for almost fourteen years. Yes, you heard me right…fourteen years. Some people like to call us high school sweethearts but we actually didn’t officially start dating until immediately after graduating from high school, though our first date was to our senior prom – I asked him!

Don’t get me wrong though; there have been plenty of bumps in the road – especially during the four years I was away at college and the first few after I moved back home to figure out what I was going to do with my life – but through all of the experiences that we have gone through on our own and together, we’ve somehow grown into adults with similar goals and dreams.

But while we have great communication and support one another at every turn, I started to realize the more I read that no relationship is perfect and working on the smaller things (i.e. nagging first and foremost) could have a big impact on us both!

So with all that in mind, I’ve compiled the following five ways that I’m going to work on being a better partner over the next month:

  1. Quit nagging – on occasion I need to learn to bite my tongue and let Miguel get things done at his pace…not mine

  2. Be nicer – sometimes my sarcastic teasing can hurt his feelings, especially when I tease in front of our friends, so I’m going to try to be more cognizant of what I’m saying…before I say it

  3. Offer small gestures – Miguel is wonderful about stopping to get dinner for us after a long drive or going out on a whim to get me something that I need and I want to be better about returning the favor

  4. Cook more often – since Miguel works from home and likes to cook, he has naturally become the official cook of the house – even making me lunch in the morning (sorry ladies, he is off the market) – but I need to step up and pitch in more often

  5. Don’t sweat the small stuff – Miguel has the most wonderful, laidback personality and doesn’t let the stresses in life stress him out...and I want to exemplify that more often by adopting a similar attitude rather than always burdening him with my anxiety when I get overwhelmed by life

After coming up with my goals for the month, I can’t wait to get started! Bringing more balance and even more happiness to our relationship is going to be reward enough but I think I’m going to enjoy doing more for Miguel and really showing him how much he means to me.

Do you have any other ideas for honoring your partner and relationship? What would your list look like??

P.S. Even before finishing this post, I did my first small gesture by getting off the couch (hard at this time of night) and getting something for him out of the bedroom when he mentioned he needed it. It made me feel good to do that for him because I know that he would normally offer to do the same for me and I'm usually too lazy to return the favor...evidenced by the fact that he looked surprise when I offered to go for him!


  1. I love both of you guys so this list couldn't make me more pleased. I hope this acknowledgement and commitment to growth only makes you guys stronger.

  2. I think it is wonderful that after so much beautiful time together you still look for ways to express your love to one another.

    You inspire me...

  3. Aww you guys are so sweet!! Thanks for all the love and support :) I am proud to say that the older I get, the wiser I become...and the more I realize how lucky I am to be blessed with a partner as loving and supportive as Miguel :)