Thursday, July 14, 2011

Breaking Point EQUALS Starting Point

Is it a red flag to spend the first ten minutes of your day looking up anxiety attack symptoms to see if they match what you’re going through?

Yeah? I thought so too, but unfortunately that’s how my day started.

For awhile now I’ve felt like I’m just barely keeping up with all of my responsibilities at work and with Live Love Life Now® and it’s made me feel a bit frenetic and on edge. And ironically, my frustrations at the office make me feel even more stressed about moving too slow with LLLN because that’s my ticket out.

So after a rough 24-hour period (highlighted by the fact that I started crying last night while brushing my teeth for no good reason…yikes!), I was very much anticipating my yoga class tonight because I needed a major dose of relaxation and calm.

But my “breaking point” came when the class was cancelled yet again without apology or notice (I will not bore you with all the details, but these persistent problems go back almost a year!) and I finally decided that I was going to stop the cycle and take control over my sanity by getting myself out of these high stress situations (i.e. my office and the gym).

So "THE PLAN" is to cancel my gym membership and work really hard on my Etsy store so I can accomplish my goal to leave my job by the end of the year.

Those are scary words to write but it’s also thrilling to finally make some decisions and put a deadline out there finally! It’s time that I again take back control over my life, my stress level, my happiness and turn my “breaking point” into the starting point of my life!

Have you ever experienced a breaking point that turned into the beautiful start of something else?

P.S. I apologize for being so absent on your blogs. It is yet another thing that has been weighing on my mind and stressing me out…but you all are always in my thoughts and I will be back soon!


  1. Jenn, never, ever worry about getting around to other's blogs! We all have our stressors, and we all have to prioritise, and in the long list of things the last thing you want to put pressure on yourself about is getting around to all the blogs you feel you 'should' be getting around to.

    Having said that, I feel guilty when I get behind on other's blogs too, especially if they've been commenting on mine. BUT, whenever I mention it they all, without fault, tell me to 'not be silly'. Blogs aren't the be all and end all of life (thank goodness!!). Everyone is so understanding that 'life' gets in the way.

    And, yes, I've gotten up in the morning and looked up symptoms on the internet, including anxiety symptoms... so you're not alone!

    I had a horrendous couple of months a little while back where I was waking up in the middle of the night, every night, several times crying.... really crying. I was constantly feeling as though my life was not what it should be, and I'd wake up literally feeling as though I'd been overwhelmed by a feeling of death and that I was actually being smothered or dying or something.

    At the same time my back went 'out', I was getting headaches, my skin went nuts, my teeth all ached, I felt exhausted, I was getting stomach pains... you get the picture.

    I couldn't figure out what on earth was going on. But, as I look back, I see I was in the midst of making some huge decisions about what to do with my life (still am), and it must have been effecting me mentally, and as a flow on, physically. I thought I had a handle on it, but I mustn't have.

    Anyhow, now I've taken big action steps in one area to at least sort out my thoughts about what I want to do, and smaller steps in some other areas.

    I've also decided I think I probably can't figure this out on my own and I may go and 'see' someone, possibly a careers counsellor, maybe just a straight out counsellor to help me sort out which way to go of all the choices I have.

    I too have an online goal (my e-course) that needs to get done (because it's something I REALLY want to do and it's my true passion). My job is not making me happy, but it pays the bills. I also have an option of moving into 2 completely different careers that MAY make more money (which I want to set me up for what I really want to do), but they work on commission and the hours would be much more than I'm working now for very decent money.

    It's all a bit too much. And, over all, is the realisation that the thing I really, truly want to do is out there but probably beyond my reach at this point in time and maybe forever.

    So, I get where you're coming from a bit!!!

    I'm slowly moving forward, trying to look after my health a bit better, and trying to prioritise and cut out those things that sap my time (checking emails, forums, watching tv etc) so that I can work hard and get ahead.

    Good luck with it all! I know it's hard and I know sometimes it must feel like it's all getting on top of you. Let's just keep putting one foot in front of the other and visualising our lives they way we want them to be in the future.

    Many big hugs.

    Linda. xox

  2. Don't let your blog, other blogs or work get in the way of you following your own motto...Live Love Life NOW!